“I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.” ~Mark Twain

How often do we let fear rule our actions and instead of following our dreams we miss out on what could have possibly been an event/occurrence that would be life changing? Have you ever gotten to the ledge, arms out-stretched and instead of allowing yourself to free fall you step backwards and cling to the wall? This is the story of my life. More often than not fear of failure or rejection has propelled me backwards there are only one or two occasions in which I followed my heart and just jumped. I can’t really say how my life would be different had I done what I wanted to do or said what I wanted to say because at the time I was too much of a chickenshit to find out. I don’t know if I can attribute my reluctance to act on fear or my habit of agonizing over a decision before I finally make it… I mean I thought about my netbook for DAYS before I finally ordered it and it’s not like that was a life changing decision and yet I made it into one. I added the damn thing to my cart and left it there for so long…going back and forth starting the ordering process only to back out when it was time to choose my shipping method. It took me long enoughn but in the case of my computer at least I did finally take a deep breath and place my order. Other decisions haven’t been as simple or easily made. Most of the time my indecision has caused me to miss the boat. I guess I could look at it as everything that has happened to me was supposed to happen or as people love to say “it happened for a reason.’ Perhaps instead of dwelling on what I didn’t do, I should just accept I did make a decision, as obviously deciding NOT to act is a decision in itself.

I wish I could say that I am going to make a vow to be more spontaneous, grab life by the balls come what may and scream what the hell….BUT how do you undo a 32year old habit?

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