It is not a competition!

My husband and I are both pretty close with our families. We have 2 children which means our parents like to see their grandkids and often. When we lived in Georgia that was pretty easy to handle as we lived 2 hours from my hometown and 2.5 from his. It was really easy to make it to family gatherings or go home just because at a moments notice. Since moving to South Carolina going home has been a little bit more difficult. Now we are 3.5 hours from my husband’s parents and 4.5 from mine…while this isn’t a long trip it is more than we are used to and the kids tend to get restless after an hour or so.

Because of the distance our home visits are few and far between.  Being far away has been difficult as our families have become accustomed to us being able to attend family gatherings and now we have to pick and choose. Weekend trips are a possibility but when you leave on Friday and return on Sunday when you think about it the only day you have to spend with the family is Saturday.

Right now we have 2 family events coming up within in 2 weeks of each other figuring out the logistics and finances is actually kind of nerve wrecking. Do we go to one and skip the other? Do we skip both to be fair? Exactly how do you choose? We don’t want to make our families feel like we favor one over the other as we love our families, but its hard to make appearances and keep everyone happy.

 I think what makes this so difficult for me is that my folks seem to think it is a competition between them and my in-laws. If I mention to them we are going to my husband’s family’s house then I am bound to get a comment like “I haven’t seen my grandbabies is SO long” or “My grandson isn’t even gonna know me when he sees me.” Any response I could even think of giving to them seem to fall on deaf ears. You’d think as the years go by it would be easier but it seems to be getting worse and they take each visit as a personal affront.

I’d like to know how other couples deal with this issue especially if they live far away from their families.

2 thoughts on “It is not a competition!

  1. MiSScNeLLY says:

    I think this year you make the sacrifice to go to both if you can…. but once you return, tell them that it puts a strain on your family having to chose and ask that they think about planning one event in June one in July so that your kids can spend more time with each set of grandparents…if that’s an option. Otherwise you guys make plans so that you don’t attend either event at that time but plan your own event and visit during the year…

  2. I know exactly what you mean. My wife’s father and his family live in Snellville, and her and my mothers live in Birmingham. We get complaints constantly about not visiting. True, we may be guilty of that sometimes, but my thing is, they can visit. The reasons we get from our families are money and time. Well, we’ve been living off 1 income for about 2 years now, yet we make time to visit.
    As for your situation, you’re gonna make someone mad. You can’t avoid it. Is there 1 you absolutely can’t miss? Which family haven’t you seen in a while? Try to alternate visits, if you can.

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