One day I was reminiscing and it hit me how I was almost an Army wife to another soldier many many years ago. My high school sweetheart proposed to me when I was 19 years old (just a month before my 20th birthday)…. after he decided to enlist. I was in Statesboro attending Georgia Southern and he was at home working full time and going to school when he decided to join the military. He came to visit me one weekend, told me of his plans and popped the question. I said yes despite feeling it was too soon.
Fast forward a few months…. he was in basic training getting ready to graduate and I of course was still in school. He would call when he could and we wrote each other about every week. With graduation approaching he wanted to know if I would be able to attend and initially I’d hoped to be able to go, but I couldn’t miss that many days of class. He was constantly calling and asking if I was going to come with his parents and I even got a call from one of the officers asking would I be coming and when would we be setting a date for the wedding.
Setting a wedding date was the furthest thing from my mind at that point because like I said I was 20 years old. During one of our weekly phone calls I told him so. When we talked about marriage prior to the engagement we agreed to wait until my senior year to get engaged and planned to get married some time after graduation and to me it seemed he was trying to accelerate those plans. Unfortunately, me being a chronic people pleaser did me no favors in this situation. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I would always put him off, but during this particular conversation he was determined. He pressed me for a timeline and he also wanted to know if I was going to move to where ever he was stationed after graduation. I told him that IF I could find a job I would but I couldn’t see myself following him around with no job and being dependent on him. He said ok, but I knew he was disappointed. About a week later he wrote a letter breaking it off… a day or two after the letter arrived he called apologizing and wanting to make up. A part of me wanted to accept his apology and stay with him, but the other side of me was so relieved!
We continued to write each other and promised to see each other when he came home in August. In the meantime I got to live!! Really live and not worry about anyone but myself. During that first year and a half while I was in college he tried to give me a curfew and screen my friends from 200 miles away. I was suffocating! Finally when I saw him in August the thrill was gone… which was actually a good thing because he proposed to some chick 2 months later! LOL!!!
I am not sure why this randomly came to me, but I had to chuckle at the memory, because here I am doing exactly what he wanted me to do with someone else. I guess it was my destiny to be an Army wife after all just not his….
I was scheduled to have an outpatient procedure on Tuesday. Monday morning I received a phone call from my physician’s office and I was informed that I would not be able to have the surgery because my insurance would not approve the procedure because the hospital on post has first right of refusal and APPARENTLY they decided THEY could so I was basically S-O-L. After finishing my conversation with the surgeon’s office I began calling around to find out what happened and why was I just finding out this information the day before my scheduled procedure. According to the reps on post the claim they attempted to contact me 3 times in a 28 day period I don’t want to call anyone an outright liar, but I definitely do not recall receiving any phone calls. Maybe it is just me, but it seems like the logical thing to do would have been to contact me as well as the physician’s office to pass along this information.
After making SEVERAL phone calls ultimately I found out there was really no way around canceling the surgery. I requested time off from work and made arrangements for my dad to come with me since the hubs is away training all for nothing! Now my options are to have my primary care doctor resubmit the referral and see what happens OR I can make an appointment for a consult on post and have the procedure performed there. The easiest thing to do would be to go ahead and let them do it BUT I will NOT! This is the second time this has happened to me with this hospital and I refuse to give them the satisfaction.
The day before I was scheduled for my 6 week check up (after the boy was born) my OB/GYN’s office called and told me that the hospital on post would not approve my doctor inserting my Mirena because they had the staff who could do it on post. Somehow they that was a good idea even though my care had been provided by another physician who I might add delivered my son AND would be giving me a pap smear the very next day. I spent half the day calling everyone I could think of trying to appeal to them and practically begging not to be subjected to TWO invasive vaginal exams to no avail. I thought that I was going to get the Mirena the very next day on post at the hospital; however when I arrived I was very rudely informed by the nurse practitioner that I would not be getting the birth control method my doctor and I had carefully decided upon a month prior to my son’s birth BUT watching a video about Mirena. She also very snidely asked if I knew that there was a chance of perforation of the uterus. It is not often that I am so stunned that I am silent, but this was one of those times! I am not sure what this woman saw when she looked at me, but obviously she did NOT see the 31 year old Master of Public Health candidate that I was! Needless to say it was this encounter that made me decide that I would not receive my care on post so I submitted a request for a civilian primary care physician. I was granted permission to see an off post provider and I promptly made an appointment to see her and asked her to refer me to my OB/GYN which she did and 6 months later I FINALLY got my Mirena!
So if it takes another 6 months then I am willing to wait. I understand not everyone is like this woman and while they should not necessarily be punished for her behavior, the fact remains she is a hospital employee and therefore the face (representative) of the hospital. This one bad experience has colored my opinion of the staff and their ability to treat me as a person/patient deserving respect.
I sit here watching CNN and the headline reads OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD. I don’t want to celebrate the death of another human being, but just thinking about the people who have died because of his orders and the enormity/significance of this announcement is just…….WHOA
Yes, people we know there is still work to be done….
Yes, we know the war is not over….
BUT how about you stop with your comments. Its rude and disrespectful to those people who lost their lives during the 9/11 attacks. Allow those husbands, wives, sons, daughters, mothers and fathers this one moment before you start telling them that there will be retaliation and there is someone else waiting in the wings.
As the wife of a soldier who has been deployed 3 times and as the sister of a soldier who has been deployed once and is preparing to leave again in less than 90 days…. if you’ve NEVER waited by the phone, watched CNN constantly, explained to your children why Daddy is not home… please just for once in your life be silent.
To the members of the military I salute you. President Obama I salute you. Thank you for your efforts.
I am sitting here thinking it is utterly fascinating how members of congress have vowed not to take their paychecks in the event of a government shut down as if that will make one bit of difference to the people who will be involuntarily be giving up theirs. What is even more interesting is how the GOP and now the Tea Party has managed to make a platform issue a budgetary concern. A large part of me is hoping that the Democrats don’t give in to this extortion while the other wants some sort of an agreement to be reached.
I would like to say more but right now I am just too pissed to even articulate my feelings properly.
My grandfather served in World War II, my uncle in Vietnam, and my cousin in Operation Desert Storm. Despite having more than a few family members in the armed forces nothing prepared me for dating and marrying a soldier. Being in a relationship with a member of the military is unique and presents its own set of challenges in addition to those experienced by a “civilian” couple.
Just a few short weeks after my honey and I officially became a couple he was deployed for the first time to Iraq. He was there for 2 months before the war began. I spent every waking moment either worrying or writing him letters. At that time I was in school and I had difficulty concentrating because I was so focused on what he was doing. At this time phone calls and emails were few and far between. I carried my cell phone with me at all times I even slept with it so I wouldn’t miss him. I recall there was a period right after the war started that he didn’t call and my nerves were frazzled. I am normally looking for the positive side in every situation, but for some reason I was extremely tense and waiting to hear some sort of bad news. I prayed every night he would be okay, but I had no idea what to expect.
I didn’t know any other women dating a man in the military so there was no one who I could really talk to that understood my situation. It was difficult dealing with the questions from friends, especially when I had no answers. I was obsessed with watching CNN. I think that year I watched CNN more than I’ve ever watched it in my life. After a number of sleepless nights and waiting till the last minute to finish school work I gave myself a little pep talk that basically amounted to me telling myself to snap out of it. The only thing that kept me sane was writing those letters and sending care packages. Imagining his reaction to his gifts and hoping that he knew how much I loved him gave me so much hope.
I thought once he came home that would be the end of all of my anxiety; however I had no idea what dealing with a soldier after war would entail. Let’s just say the next year was an emotional rollercoaster. I had no idea what to say or do to help him and honestly because I wasn’t there I couldn’t begin to relate to his experience besides he didn’t share it with me either. By the time we got our footing and seemed to be on the right track I was 4 weeks pregnant and he was getting ready to deploy again!
I have not worked in around 13 months. Being unemployed for the first time since graduating college and for so long has taken a toll on my self-worth. My situation could be worse and I am keenly aware of that fact. I appreciate the fact my husband works everyday and our family is not suffering and we have a roof over our heads. My children are not hungry or cold. I know that in this economy I should count my blessings every single day and every night before I close my eyes that is exactly what I do.
I remember when my husband was reassigned to a new duty station I was so excited. We had a toddler running around and a baby on the way. The thought of him not deploying (especially after just returning from his third tour in Iraq) if only for a little while was extremely comforting. I have been aggressively searching for employment since the birth of our son and yet in 13 months I’ve ONLY gone on 2 interviews, both of which were within the last 3 months. While one of the prospects seems promising the waiting is excruciating. There have been days that I feel like I am drowning in a sea of desperation. I sit and I wait for the phone to ring and each time it does I hold my breath while waiting on the caller id to display the name I am dying to see. So far the call has not come and at times that is a hard pill to swallow. I have not given up hope that I will be hired, but it is difficult waiting.
Strangely enough the person who seems to be most in tune with my feelings especially on the days that I feel like I can’t wait another second is my Dad. In the last few weeks when I feel like my head and heart are going to explode the phone rings , I look over and see his name. After I speak to him I feel just a little bit calmer like I can wait one more day.
As of yesterday I am officially a stay at home mom…. well hopefully ONLY until I give birth to our second child. We’ve just experienced our first military relocation and in doing so I had to resign from my current position. Being that I am 7 months pregnant we figured I probably wouldn’t have much luck finding a new job right away sooooo I’m going to wait until after the baby is born to rejoin the workforce. I am hoping to not go completely crazy spending the next few months at home with my 3 year old which may prove to be extremely difficult as Baby Girl is very talkative. I mean VERY VERY talkative. She’s one of those kids that calls you 27 times and wants nothing at all OR she has a crazy question to ask and you as the parent have not a clue as to how to answer.
At the suggestion of a very respected blogger I’ve purchased the book Home Comforts, which is supposed to teach me everything and then some about all aspects of keeping house…. I will see how this goes, but I figure I may as well go all out. I’ve been trying to decide if I am going to be the good little wife and mother by getting up every morning and preparing a full breakfast for him and Baby Girl so they can have a hot meal… I will definitely try I guess it won’t be a big stretch since I do cook dinner, but again this is all new to me and not to mention I am NOT a morning person. Somebody pray for me!!!
I’ve been challenged before and have come out unscathed; however I am not domestic in the least… sure I can cook and clean ya know the basics but I don’t know how those other moms out there do it and look so darn well put together in the process. You know the ones I’m talking about well pressed khakis, pearls, not a hair out of place, clean ,well-mannered children and it all appears to be so effortless. This is going to be my biggest challenge to date!