Funny how things turn out…

One day I was reminiscing and it hit me how I was almost an Army wife to another soldier many many years ago. My high school sweetheart proposed to me when I was 19 years old (just a month before my 20th birthday)…. after he decided to enlist. I was in Statesboro attending Georgia Southern and he was at home working full time and going to school when he decided to join the military. He came to visit me one weekend, told me of his plans and popped the question. I said yes despite feeling it was too soon.

Fast forward a few months…. he was in basic training getting ready to graduate and I of course was still in school. He would call when he could and we wrote each other about every week. With graduation approaching he wanted to know if I would be able to attend and initially I’d hoped to be able to go, but I couldn’t miss that many days of class. He was constantly calling and asking if I was going to come with his parents and I even got a call from one of the officers asking would I be coming and when would we be setting a date for the wedding.

Setting a wedding date was the furthest thing from my mind at that point because like I said I was 20 years old. During one of our weekly phone calls I told him so. When we talked about marriage prior to the engagement we agreed to wait until my senior year to get engaged and planned to get married some time after graduation and to me it seemed he was trying to accelerate those plans. Unfortunately, me being a chronic people pleaser did me no favors in this situation. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I would always put him off, but during this particular conversation he was determined. He pressed me for a timeline and he also wanted to know if I was going to move to where ever he was stationed after graduation. I told him that IF I could find a job I would but I couldn’t see myself following him around with no job and being dependent on him. He said ok, but I knew he was disappointed. About a week later he wrote a letter breaking it off… a day or two after the letter arrived he called apologizing and wanting to make up. A part of me wanted to accept his apology and stay with him, but the other side of me was so relieved!

We continued to write each other and promised to see each other when he came home in August. In the meantime I got to live!! Really live and not worry about anyone but myself. During that first year and a half while I was in college he tried to give me a curfew and screen my friends  from 200 miles away. I was suffocating!  Finally when I saw him in August the thrill was gone… which was actually a good thing because he proposed to some chick 2 months later! LOL!!!

I am not sure why this randomly came to me, but I had to chuckle at the memory, because here I am doing exactly what he wanted me to do with someone else. I guess it was my destiny to be an Army wife after all just not his….

The One I Gave My Heart To

My husband is not perfect, in fact he’s far from it, there are times that he literally drives me insane, but I wouldn’t trade him for anyone in this world. He gets me, when nobody else understands he does. We aren’t one of those couples who finishes the other’s sentences, but if he was so inclined he could definitely tell me what I was thinking. He also knows the way to MY heart isn’t with flowers, candy or poetry, but electronics. Should he WANT to send me flowers he knows callas are my faves and not traditional roses.

Since the day we met I’ve felt safe and protected. When he’s around I never feel the need to check the locks a thousand times, in fact it never even crosses my mind. Is this because he’s a soldier or is it just the quiet strength he exudes? What ever it is I’m glad he’s around!

I wish I could say that our relationship has been perfect— well you know what no I don’t. The problems we’ve encountered through the years have only served as a series of lessons which have allowed us to become stronger as a couple. We appreciate each other and instead of talking we’ve started to show our feelings via actions.

Why am I being a mushball today? Who knows! I’m feeling all gooey about my hubby and I wanted everybody to know!

Fairy tales and happy endings

Yesterday with the world watching Prince William married Catherine Middleton. I must admit in the days leading up to the royal wedding I was not really into it, but when I switched on the television on Friday morning as I got ready for work I was swept up into the romance. As I watched I became enchanted, it was like watching a real life fairy tale.  I thought Kate looked beautiful. Her dress was classic and stunning. Prince William looked dashing. While their kiss seemed sedate to some the look of pure bliss on Kate’s face afterward warmed my heart. They look like they are so in love!

I feel as if I watched nothing else yesterday because I was utterly fascinated by all of the pomp and circumstance. If there was a special about the wedding I was watching it. It seemed as if one went off and another came on!

Of course all of the wedding talk made me think of (what I hope to be soon)our vow renewal. The hubs and I won’t be able to do it up royal style, but I simply cannot wait till I am finally able to slip into a wedding gown and see him in a tuxedo. It is the only thing I want more in this world than any of my gadgets! *gasp*

So here’s to the bride and groom and to hoping my husband gets the hint! I just love happy endings!

He still makes me blush

My husband is not the most emotionally expressive person by any means. I would definitely describe him as a man of action, so when he takes the time to express his feelings I feel doubly blessed. Today he simply stated how much he appreciates me and I swear I felt as if I was lifted 2o feet into the air. I could not stop smiling! Such simple words but they meant so much!

Our 5 year wedding anniversary is fast approaching and I want to do something special to show him how much I appreciate him as well. I have a few things in mind but I want this gift/gesture to be unique especially since 2 days before our anniversary he’ll become an officer which is a dream come true. What can I give him that says I love you, I’m proud of you and most importantly you are my hero????


Is it too late for my dream to come true..

As a little girl I remember dreaming and planning my wedding day. I couldn’t wait to walk down the aisle towards the man of my dreams wearing a beautiful gown. Through the years my vision changed; however one thing remained unchanged and that was my desire for a wedding.
Before my own wedding day I was able to be a part of so many of my friends’ special days which only solidified my wish for a wedding.

As we all know, life has a way of throwing you curve balls, so when I finally met my knight in pressed ACUs, Uncle Sam and financial factors prevented us from having that big beautiful white wedding I always hoped for. Intellectually I understand that the wedding is just a day and the marriage should be the major concern, but I cannot for the life of me quiet that little girl inside of me who longs for the day she gets to step into a beautiful gown, put on makeup and walk down an aisle of flower petals towards her forever….

While I do not regret getting married I curse myself for my impatience, unwillingness to wait, save and plan for that day. My husband and I have discussed having a renewal ceremony, but so far we haven’t decided on a renewal year. I wonder if we’ll ever decide and when we do will I still want to do it at that point. I wonder if I should just suck it up and move on. I’ve even considered renting a dress and scheduling a photo shoot for me and the hubs, but I wonder if that will that only fuel the fire.

I wish this didn’t mean so much that I could just continue on with my life and not keep revisiting thoughts of wedding gowns and tuxedos, but it has been almost 5 years and my feelings haven’t changed. I guess it doesn’t help that every other show on tv is wedding related. I can’t help but long for my own special day as I watch David Tutera turn nightmare weddings into a dream come true or want to see myself in a gown as I watch other women “”Say Yes To The Dress.”

For now dreams of tulle and satin will be just that BUT I refuse to give up hope that one day I will have a chance to stand in the mirror and see my reflection clad in a beautiful Amsale.

Flaws and all…

At times I can be a bit….well bourgie, bratty, bitchy, crazy , sweet, neurotic, and probably more things than I’ve listed, but despite all of that he loves me… My husband is one of two people who can make me smile even when I don’t want to or even when I think something is not even remotely funny. He makes me laugh in spite of myself and at myself and most of the time that is exactly what I need. Its funny to think had my friend not called and invited me to lunch one day I would have never gotten a second chance to really get to know this person that crossed my path so many years ago. How could I have not instinctively known when he was always in the background that HE was the ONE? I guess we weren’t ready to know each other. There is no sense in questioning it, though it is what it is and how ever it happened (he says I planned it) we met again the time was right and this time when I saw him I just KNEW….

Thank you God for my husband! I love you SSG. Crawford!!!! Muaaaaaaaah!